One of the gifts I got Alix for Christmas was this book “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.” (She gave me a subtle hint about this gift, something along the lines of “You should get me this book called ‘1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.’ ” Once you’ve been married awhile you pick up on these little clues.)
So this got us talking and thinking about movies, and somewhere in there I had an epiphany.
You probably know that the fortunes in fortune cookies gain a whole new level of meaning if you add the words “in bed.” May you always live in interesting times… in bed. You are known as wise and generous… in bed. 6, 14, 23, 31, 42, 47… in bed. (Wait, that’s the lottery numbers on the other side of the fortune.)
Anyway… it turns out that the title of any movie takes on a whole new aspect if you just add the words “of love.”
Cool Hand Luke… Of Love
Citizen Kane… Of Love
The Maltese Falcon… Of Love
Return of the Jedi… Of Love
The Matrix… Of Love
The Sixth Sense… Of Love
I’m not that interested in that new Clint Eastwood movie Gran Torino — at this point Clint’s face on the big screen is scarier than all the Saw movies put together. But Gran Torino… Of Love ? I’d stand in line for that.
The best part is, it makes all those art flicks — the ones that exist solely to be nominated for Oscars — instantly watchable.
The English Patient… Of Love
Sense and Sensibility… Of Love
The Remains of the Day… Of Love
Try it! Although, be warned, it doesn’t work every time. Frost/Nixon… Of Love will be giving me nightmares for weeks.