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Heaven Is a Playlist Music

Heaven Is a Playlist, Track 1: Little Richard, “I Don’t Know What You’ve Got But It’s Got Me”

Hey, everybody: Today begins what I intend to be a long-running series on the songs I think about the most. They’re not necessarily my FAVORITE songs — that’s a different list. These are the songs I obsess over, the songs that have come to mean something to me beyond the notes and the words. They’re the songs that move me in ways I don’t fully understand — sometimes, when I listen to one of them, I’ll start crying for no apparent reason. But then, when it’s over, I’ll want to hear it again.

The title for the series is lifted from the great Rick Telander book “Heaven Is a Playground” about street basketball in New York City in the ’70s. Everybody has their own personal version of heaven. Mine would be one where I could listen to an endless loop of these songs.

I should say out front that I’m not a music scholar — the stories here are to the best of my knowledge through my research. Feel free to let me know with corrections or context. I’m also not going to put a lot of links in these pieces — I hope you read the story through, then maybe go check out some of the songs and artists I mention along the way. I’ve created a Spotify playlist to collect the songs as I write about them. Of course there’s only one song on there right now. But I plan to add many more.

*****

It’s 25 years ago, at least, and I’m driving through small-town South Carolina. Every weekend back then I’d go to the record store and come out with an armload of CDs. Some of them were the newest stuff I heard on the radio or saw on MTV. The rest was to fill out my musical education. Every time I went on a road trip, I’d throw a few in the car.

Part of the stack this time around was a Little Richard greatest-hits CD.

It was put out by Motown, even though he never recorded for Motown — they licensed it from one of his old labels that fell on hard times. I knew the first eight or nine tracks, the songs that just about everybody knows, the red blood cells of rock ‘n’ roll — “Lucille,” “Tutti Frutti,” “Good Golly, Miss Molly,” “Long Tall Sally.”

The back half of the CD was songs I hadn’t heard, mostly for good reason. But then it got to track 13. I happened to be coming into a town just as the song started. I listened to most of it over the span of a couple of red lights. And it hit me so hard I pulled into the parking lot of a Family Dollar to catch my breath.

I later found out that the song — like all the tracks on the CD — had been part of recording sessions he did in 1964 and ’65. In the 15 years before that, Little Richard had failed as a blues singer; went back home to Macon, Georgia, to wash dishes for a living; gave music another shot and basically invented rock ‘n’ roll; quit at the height of stardom to sing gospel and become an evangelist; switched back to keep from being upstaged by Sam Cooke on a concert tour; headlined a different tour with the Beatles as his opening act; and disappeared from the charts so completely that he was re-recording his old hits, hoping somebody would remember. That’s six semicolons worth of switchbacks, and it’s still oversimplifying things. Anything anybody could write about Little Richard is oversimplifying things.

Artists borrow or steal or recycle all the time, but Little Richard was burgled more than most. The history of rock ‘n’ roll is built from his spare parts. Some of it is direct and specific: the guitar riff in “Oh, Pretty Woman” came from the bass line in “Lucille,” and the drum lick that opens Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll” is lifted from “Keep a Knockin’.” Most of it is the vibe, the clothes, the hair, the sweat, the dance across the boundaries of gender and sex. Without Little Richard there’d be no Elton John, no Bowie, no Prince, not the way we know them.

The thing about Little Richard, as great as he was, is that he never let you forget he was giving a performance. The piano frills, the falsetto woooooo!-s, even his schtick when he did interviews, cracking a joke and waiting for the laugh and then glaring at the audience in mock outrage and hollering “Shut up!”

It was a fantastic act. But he never quite created that suspension of disbelief, that moment in a book or a movie or a song when it transmutes from entertainment to something that strikes bone, as deep and real as anything you can touch.

That’s hard to do in any art, and especially hard in the early days of rock ‘n’ roll, which was mostly about sex and cars and dancing. The deeper, more adult emotions didn’t fit the music yet. The Beatles and Stones and Dylan were starting to change that, but in 1964, when Little Richard was trying to get back in the game, that depth belonged to country music, and especially soul music. Little Richard had never really been that type of singer.

One of his famous sayings was “I’m not conceited…” long pause … “I’m convinced.” It’s a great line, and he got a lot of mileage out of it. But it’s the kind of thing somebody says when they’re not convinced. Gay, straight, black, white, rock, gospel, funny, furious — Little Richard was a little bit of everything, as wide as the Nile. But when you spread that wide, it’s hard to go deep.

Sometime in early 1965, with all that life already behind him, he sat down in a studio in New York City to record “I Don’t Know What You’ve Got But It’s Got Me.”

*****

Good Lord, what a band on this record. The drummer was Bernard Purdie, who played with everybody from Aretha to Steely Dan, and invented a lick so widely copied they call it the Purdie Shuffle. The organist was Billy Preston, who later played with the Beatles and had five top-5 hits as a solo act. The guitar player was a young guy who at the time called himself Maurice James. Later he would go out on his own under his real name: Jimi Hendrix.

The songwriter, Don Covay, was also around. Covay had once been Richard’s chauffeur, and later built a modest career as an R&B singer, but his best work was as a songwriter — he wrote two of Aretha’s biggest hits, “Chain of Fools” and “See Saw.” “I Don’t Know What You’ve Got” is a straight-up Memphis ballad, something Otis Redding would’ve sung.

Hendrix kicks it off with a short guitar lick and the song eases in slowly, carried on a bed of horns. When the vocal comes in, if you didn’t know it was a Little Richard record, you might not guess it was him. He’s not rushing through the words, not shouting so loud he throws the mic into overdrive. He’s singing to a lover. He’s stretching out the words, begging for relief.

You ne-e-e-ever treat me kind

You par-r-r-r-ty all the time

You don’t mean me no good

I’d leave you if I only could

The target of his pleas isn’t much to look at, and doesn’t have any money. But this mean, ugly, broke lover has hooked Richard so deep that he sings down in the low end of his range, letting Covay float over the top in high harmony. It’s all beautifully put together. You can the couples slow-dancing to it in a sweaty club somewhere.

Then, a couple of verses in, Richard starts to preach. And all of a sudden Little Richard the entertainer is back.

Baby, baby, baby, I feel so all alone. Sometimes I just cry! I sigh! Sometimes I even moan!

He spins a tale about how his best friend comes to tell Richard something he needs to know about his lover, but Richard doesn’t understand what the friend is saying, he’s innocent, and pretty soon he’s going full Baptist on us. The Stax groove sure is pretty, and it’s fun to listen to Richard break into a sermon. But it feels like that the moment the song got too real, he pulled back.

This goes on for about a minute — an eternity on a pop record — but then he starts singing again, catches his breath, slows down. He understands now. His lover has cheated on him. He pleads let me beeeee, but you know he doesn’t mean it. A little more than three minutes in, Richard transitions from the verse to the chorus with one ad-libbed word:

Honey.

But he sings it:

HUHHHHHHHHHHHney!

It comes out coarse, like he’s ripping the notes from his throat, but there’s still a vibrato underneath, the barest hint of control. It’s the sound of a man barely hanging on.

I always want to romanticize these moments, make them more than they might really be. Maybe Little Richard was just a pure professional, steeped in black gospel, who was so good he could out-Otis Otis if he felt like it.

Or maybe it was the sound of a grown man reaching deep to share a truth he’d never shared. Maybe one he didn’t even know he had.

And the weird thing is, it wouldn’t hit as hard if it weren’t for the preaching right before it. It’s like Richard reminds you of who you thought he was before he shows you who he might really be, under the sweat and the makeup, somebody who kept trying to quit this earthly music for the glory of God, only to find the glory of God in this earthly music.

The song rolls into the outro and the temperature rises. Covay rides the high notes. Purdie steps in with drum fills. Hendrix places little two- or three-note licks in the open spaces. In the last 30 seconds, Billy Preston comes in with an organ line over the top of everything. And Little Richard, singing his ass off on the long fade, rushes just one line: I feel sometimes like I wanna die.

Right as he is proving his immortality.

*****

The song made it to no. 12 on the R&B charts — his last hit there of any size. On the pop charts, it never got higher than no. 92. There is some debate over who played what on the recording sessions, but most Jimi Hendrix scholars believe “I Don’t Know What You Got” is the only Little Richard record Hendrix ever played on. Not long after the recording, Little Richard fired Hendrix from his touring band. He was either late to too many gigs or took too much of Richard’s spotlight, depending on what version you believe.

Little Richard spent the rest of his life declaring, correctly, that he was the architect of rock ‘n’ roll, and complaining, correctly, that he was never appreciated enough. “I Don’t Know What You’ve Got” is so deep on his bench that I can’t find a clip of him playing it live. But it stopped me cold in that little town in South Carolina. And ever since then, a few times a year, something will remind me of it, and I’ll go spend a day or two with it all over again. When Little Richard died it was the first song I thought of, and since his death I’ve played it every day. And never just once.

I’ve spent my life paying attention to music — probably too much attention. Sometimes it’s just medicine — something to help me let off steam or move my feet or get past a heartbreak. But every so often, if I listen enough, I hear something that changes my life — that puts a name on a feeling I couldn’t describe, or sends a message to some far-off part of myself.

I write for a living, but music makes me feel more deeply than any other art. Part of the idea behind this series, for me, is trying to understand why. For now, most of it is still a mystery. I don’t know what it’s got, but it’s got me.

— TT

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News

It’s paperback day!

I don’t think this is an official national holiday yet — we had not heard back from Congress at press time — but it’s still a great day: “The Elephant in the Room” is out in paperback today.

It’s available online and in bookstores all across this great land of ours … if you love indie bookstores, as we do, buy a copy (or several!) there.

Also, if you’re near these cities, come see me on my book tour! More details and updates here.

I’m thrilled to go back out on the road and talk to people about the book. I’m also thrilled at the idea of new readers picking it up and giving it a read. To sum up: It’s all pretty thrilling. I might have mentioned that.

Thanks, as always, for your support and encouragement along the way. I’m forever grateful.

— TT

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The new one

(apologies to the great Mike Birbiglia for borrowing his title)

So … I have a deal to write a new book.

We actually signed the paperwork a few weeks ago, but I wanted to wait until after the holidays before I said anything in public. Now it’s time to make the announcement. Would you like to guess? I promise you, we could sit here all day and you’d never guess.

My next book is going to be about…

The Westminster Dog Show.

Yep: My first book was a pour-your-guts-out memoir about my lifelong struggle to lose weight. This book involves a lot of hanging out with dogs. It’s a bit of a departure.

Here’s how it happened: I had pitched a couple of ideas to my fantastic editor, Jofie Ferrari-Adler, who now co-runs his own imprint called Avid Reader Press as part of Simon & Schuster. Jofie was lukewarm on the ideas I pitched him, which is fine and a normal part of the publishing business. I was trying to figure out what to pitch next, and he suggested that I just send him a big batch of ideas, so he could help me get a sense of which one might make the best book.

So I sent him 20 ideas.

Some of them were two or three paragraphs. Others were a few sentences. But idea number 19 was just this:

Westminster. I don’t have a brilliant idea here except to say that nobody
has ever done a great book on the Westminster Dog Show and it’s about
fucking time.

Jofie and his colleagues liked several of the ideas, and my agent, Sloan Harris, chimed in with his favorites. As we kept talking, and the Westminster idea floated to the top, I fleshed it out a little more:

The dog show is a fascinating little world — the owners and trainers and judges trying to determine the perfect version of all these different breeds, and the amazing and wonderful dogs parading around the floor of Madison Square Garden, oblivious to pretty much everything except the treat in the trainer’s hand.

What I really like about it is the contrast to the way we think about dogs in the regular world. Show dogs are judged for how closely they fit the ideal version of the breed. Regular dogs, we love for their quirks — the weird way they eat, or how their ears are different sizes, or how they always turn three circles before settling down to bed. But there’s overlap, too: Even the best show dogs have their own little weirdnesses, and somehow even the mangiest mutt can give off a flash of royalty.

People and dogs have been partners for tens of thousands of years. What do we get out of that relationship? What do they get out of it? It made me want to go find out — not just to Westminster and other dog shows, but to meet scientists and poets and other people who have thought hard about that deep connection between our dogs and us.

So the book will be about the dog show … but, I hope, also a lot more than that.

In some ways, this is a return to what I’m used to. My memoir was a bit out of step for me — I’m more used to writing about other people. There’s nothing about my work that I love more than diving into a new world, learning about it, and coming back to tell the tale.

I’m headed to New York in a few weeks for Westminster 2020, to dive into that world, and I can’t wait.

I’ll post a few updates along the way, but probably not many — I like to keep things fairly close to the vest while I’m working. But I suspect I’ll post some dog photos here and on my Instagram feed from time to time. And if everything goes well, in a couple of years, we’ll have a book.

The kicker: My wife and I just acquired a cat. But that’s a story for another time.

*****

While I have your attention … the paperback of “The Elephant in the Room” comes out NEXT WEEK — Jan. 14, although feel free to go ahead and preorder. I’ll be doing a short book tour over the next couple of weeks — if you’re in Charlotte, Athens, Atlanta, Nashville, Auburn, or Litchfield Beach, S.C., come say hey. I’ve already got a few more dates lined up for spring and even into the fall.

This book-writing life is such a gift for me — I always wanted to do it, but never knew if I’d get a shot. To be able to write a second book … well, I’m doubly blessed. Thanks to all of you for buying books, not just mine, but anyone’s. See you on the road.

— TT

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News

Creating and schlepping

Allee Willis died back on Christmas Eve. You wouldn’t know her name unless you’re deeply into songwriting, but you know her work. She wrote or co-wrote “I’ll Be There For You,” the “Friends” theme; “Neutron Dance,” the Pointer Sisters hit; the music for the Broadway show “The Color Purple”; and best of all, the Earth, Wind and Fire classic “September,” which you have now started to sing in your head by reflex.

Willis led a big life — she was known for wild parties, and she filled her house so full of knickknacks and doodads that she turned it into a Museum of Kitsch. But when I was reading her obit, something she said about her songs stuck out:

“I, very thankfully, have a few songs that will not go away, but they’re schlepping along 900 others.”

That’s one of the keys to a creative life — knowing that not everything you do will be a hit.

Sometimes you grind out a piece of work, pour your soul into it, put it out into the world, and … crickets. But sometimes a little thing you toss off in 20 minutes becomes what you’re known for.

Don’t discount those little tossed-off things — they’re often the result of years of prep work that your subconscious did to prepare you for that moment.

And don’t grieve too much over the hard work that didn’t find an audience — sometimes the work itself has to be the reward.

Success is a fickle thing and not always up to you. The one thing you can do is keep creating, building a whole body of work that keeps schlepping along, the hits and the duds and the in-betweens, but every one of them yours.

— TT

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56 Up

There’s a famous British documentary series called the Up series, where director Michael Apted started following a group of 7-year-olds and has returned to them every seven years to see how their lives have changed. The titles reflect their age at the time — “7 Up,” “14 Up” and so on. Last year, they came out with “63 Up.”

I turned 56 on Saturday. That happens to be a multiple of seven. So I’ve been trying to remember what my life was like at all those seven-year checkpoints.

7 Up (January 1971): I’m in first grade. My teacher is a black woman, Mrs. Lewis, which is a big step in our county — years later, I’ll find out that it’s the first year the county schools were integrated. All I know is that I love Mrs. Lewis and wish she taught every grade. I can read faster than anyone else in class, and I run slower than anyone else in class. My mom and dad work at the seafood plant. I play kickball and dodgeball with the neighborhood kids. I draw mazes in our dirt yard with a rake.

14 Up (January 1978): Eighth grade, middle school. I’m the lead in the school play — “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” It’s a musical, and one day the teacher plays back our rehearsal with a videotape recorder — the first one I’ve ever seen. We all hate the sound of our own voices. But backstage, behind Snoopy’s doghouse, I kiss the first two girls I’ve ever kissed. By then I’ve also made two best friends. One, Perry Beard, is already up at the high school. The other, Virgil Ryals, is the smartest, funniest kid I’ve ever known. One day we’re talking about our families and he tells me his grandmother is a teacher. It takes a few minutes before we figure out his grandmother is Mrs. Lewis, my teacher back in first grade. Some people are meant to be friends.

21 up (January 1985): I’m a junior at the University of Georgia and I’m a mess — drinking too much, blowing off classes, gaining so much weight I’m down to a couple of shirts and a blown-out pair of jeans. I have two salvations. One is my friends. The other is my job at the college newspaper, The Red & Black. I spend most of my waking hours there, learning how to interview reluctant sources and omit needless words. Every day the paper comes out is a high. Back home, my dad is sick and has been for years — he smoked most of his life and the poison has caught him. My mom had quit the seafood plant after getting injured on the job but goes back to work as a waitress because we need the money. She keeps our household together a roll of pennies at a time.

28 Up (January 1992): I’m restless. I’ve been at The Charlotte Observer for two and a half years, but I’m stuck (or at least I feel stuck) in the Rock Hill bureau. I’m writing columns down there, and I don’t know it at the time, but they’re perfect practice for when I become local columnist for the big paper later on. I’ve collected another best friend, Joe Posnanski, who’s writing sports in Rock Hill. In another month or two I’ll have a girlfriend. But I’m still chafing. My dad died two years before, back in 1990, and even though I’m young, I start to feel time whistling past. That summer I’ll get so frustrated with not getting promoted that I quit the job (and the girlfriend) and move to Atlanta. That turns into a six-month disaster. When I come crawling back to the Observer, they are kind enough to let me in.

35 Up (January 1999): Somehow, the life I wanted has appeared in my hands. After a few years as the Observer’s music writer, the paper chose me as the local columnist, and I’ve been doing that job for a year and a half. It feels like what I’ve always been meant to do. More important, I’m six months the husband of Alix Felsing, the best person I’ve ever known. We live in a second-floor apartment in South Charlotte with a spare bedroom crammed floor to ceiling with boxes. Soon we’ll buy our first house, a big spread with a pond and a garden. Every day feels like another stroke of luck.

42 Up (January 2006): The house with the garden and the pond proved to be more than we could take care of, so we’ve moved to a smaller place that we love. We brought along a few daylilies and our yellow Lab mutt, Fred, who showed up one day at the old house and never left. We take the dog for long walks through the new neighborhood, sit out on the porch and make new friends. I’m still the local columnist and it’s still the best job I’ve ever had … but I’m also feeling that old tug to try something new.

49 Up (January 2013): I’m eight months into life at a startup called Sports On Earth. After 23 years, I left the paper for good — not because I didn’t love it, but because I hungered for new stories and new places to try things. Alix still has her job at the paper, which is good, because a few months from now Sports On Earth will let me go. Her steady salary and benefits keep us afloat while I hustle for work. I have new energy for writing, but I can also hear the drumbeat of time. The world is aging around us. My mom has been to the hospital a couple of times for ulcers. We’re having to start tugging Fred around the block instead of him pulling us. I’m neglecting my body, as I most always have, and I’m up over 400 pounds. I know I have to do something. I always decide to start tomorrow.

56 Up (January 2020): So many highs, so many lows. I wrote a book about my struggle with my weight, and it touched some people, for which I will always be grateful. Not only that, I’m getting healthier. I have a new job at Charlotte’s NPR station, WFAE. People used to recognize my face from the paper; now they recognize my voice from the radio. Alix and I have been married 21 years. She does something every day that makes me fall for her all over again. But the last couple of years have been a grim parade. Virgil died, out of the blue, a heart attack. Alix’s dad died suddenly, giving us just enough time to be by his side. My mom died after a long, exhausting illness. Alix’s mom started to show some memory issues and so we persuaded her to move here from Tennessee. My two most important journalism mentors, Jay Lovinger and Frank Barrows, died within a couple of months of each other.

This is what happens, we know, when you live this many years. Some days the grief is overwhelming. But some days the joy is, too. Just last night we took Alix’s mom out to dinner, and on the walk back to the car, we looked up at the moon. It was a clear night and the air felt fresh in my lungs and the moon was a miracle. How many nights over 56 years have I looked up and seen that light in the dark? How many times have I held my wife’s hand as we walked? So many times I can’t count them all. But I know how many I want. More.

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Paperback Book Tour 2020!

These beauties showed up at the house yesterday, which means it’s time to announce the official dates for the paperback book tour for “The Elephant in the Room.”

So here we go. I’ve added links to the places that already have the event up on site:

Jan. 15: Park Road Books, Charlotte

Jan. 22: Avid Bookshop, Athens, GA

Jan. 23: Highland Inn Ballroom Lounge, Atlanta (in conversation with Tom Junod, sponsored by A Cappella Books)

Jan. 26: Parnassus Books, Nashville

Jan. 27: Auburn Oil Co. Booksellers, Auburn, AL

Feb. 7: Kimbels at Wachesaw, Murrells Inlet, SC (followed by book signing at Litchfield Books)

April 1-3: The Oxford Conference For the Book, Oxford, MS

I’ll also be doing several other events in and around Charlotte over the next few months … we’ll add those to the book tour page as they fill in.

FYI, if you’re interested in having me come to your bookstore or speak to your group, contact Angela Ching at angela.ching@simonandschuster.com — we’ll do our best to make it work. Also contact Angela if you’d like me to be on your podcast, radio show, etc.

The paperback comes out Jan. 14, but you can (and should!) preorder now. The hardback, audiobook and ebook are already out and available — I cannot reveal my sources, but I’m told they make excellent Christmas gifts.

Thanks so much to everyone who has bought and/or supported this book over the last year. Seeing the crowds at the events, meeting readers, and hearing your stories — all that has made this one of the most rewarding years of my life. I can’t wait to get back out on the road and do it again. See y’all soon!

— TT